Mexico and Marriage

What do Mexico and marriage have in common?

It is a place where dreams and ambitions come to die!  You know that book "Stop Working Now" by Derek Foster? - I think everyone who comes to live at the beach in Mexico must have read this book!  I know one of my friends read it one too many times.  Many of my friends, ex-boyfriends and acquaintances (more like random crazy people) that I have met here are ex-convicts (not to worry - Interpol already locked him up!), con artists, runaways, in witness protection programs or arrived here severely broken-hearted looking for healing and none of them have jobs.  I have a friend who lives entirely on donations from people - someone even gave her their car, I mean who just gives their car to someone?  I have another friend who said to me, "Work?  Naaaah, I never had time!"  It's very rare to find anyone here who works, they just live on "funds from abroad"!  This is a place where people take sabbaticals from their life, but end up staying forever because it's so easy to live on next to nothing.  

Someone recently asked me if I was in a witness protection program when I pulled out my old Nextel radio flip phone - no, I don't use a phone with internet or touch screen, I'm old fashioned and have a frugal life, remember?

I do tend to feel guilty from time to time for my lifestyle, but then I think, if I were in Canada working towards my pension in a 9-5 job, isn't this the exact type of life I would be dreaming about attaining one day ~ working part-time, going to yoga every morning on the beach, enjoying life and having marathon brunches with friends over croissants and coffee at the local French bakery every day?  Why should I feel guilty that I'm not working on my pension?  Isn't this the life many people want at 65, and I've already achieved it at 37?

Banyan Tree Spa Experience

As a spa therapist, I like to forgo my frugal lifestyle once a year and indulge in a day spa to get ideas for what the trends are.  This year I chose the Banyan Tree Spa in Mayakoba.  When you walk into this luxurious hotel, you really feel like you are in Thailand - the architecture, the flowers, even the pink cherry blossom trees at the entrance with the lily pad pond reminds me of being in Asia.

As you make your way down to the spa, Thai receptionists will greet you with a sweet hibiscus flower juice, then your therapist will greet you at the glass doors where it opens into a little city of individual massage cabins, surrounded by water canals, and decorated with Asian-style pillows, blankets and decor.  "Aromatherapy of the Day" infuser is at the entrance of the cabin.  The Rainmist Romance package will pamper you with a welcoming foot bath with warm water and rose petals in a cast iron bowl.  The therapist releases an anti-bacterial ball of herbs into the water and washes your feet and does pressure points on your legs.  Beside you on the couch is a cold towel for face and hands, and a glass of water.

After the welcoming ritual, you will go to the change room where you will find a sarong to change into - no fancy slippers or robes here, you go directly to the room in your clothing, as each room has its own private humid area just for you, equipped with steam, shower and bathroom.  The sheets were so soft, like a bamboo feel.  The therapist starts with pressure points all over your body, then she gets up on the table and goes deeper up again on the legs, buttocks and back.  She then drizzles warm sesame oil with geranium over your body, applies warm herbal pouches, then performs a traditional Swedish massage.  After the massage, she leads you to the steam room fully equipped with a table with a Vichy shower overtop.  You lay down and enjoy the warm jets of water all down your spine and legs and feet, while steam comes out underneath the table and heats your body to prepare it for the honey, green tea and apple scrub.  The therapist applies the warm scrub to your body, it feels soothing and calming, but at the same time invigorating.  Once she has scrubbed you all over, she brings the Vichy shower back over your body, and washes all the scrub off with a warm touch of her hand.

After the treatment, which is 2 hours in total, they lead you back to a relaxing room called "Albahaca" where they serve you a fresh fruit plate and a hot ginger and honey tea.

The experience of being bathed by someone else is really incredible and something everyone should try once in their lifetime!

A Day in the Spa - Part 2

I don't like to work for free, but some days I have to.  I take a bus to work or sometimes a taxi if it's raining and I give myself an hour to get there before the service starts, just to set up the room, prepare the foot ritual, etc.  Then I do a 2 hour deep tissue massage with a lady who tells me, "I don't want any elbows or forearms touching me, only hands and I want it the strongest you can give me" - In my mind I'm thinking, "Crazy lady, there is no way I'm going to be able to reach the pressure you are requesting without using elbows or forearms".  She was not happy during the massage, it was either too light or I was hurting her.  She complained and I lost my commission.  I could have been doing any number of things that I enjoy - lounging on the beach with a picnic, going to yoga, spending time with friends at my favorite cafe playing cards, but no, I have to massage an ungrateful client for 2 hours for free!  These are the kinds of clients I have to try to satisfy on a daily basis - my job is not easy.

But then there are days when I get the kids...

The other day I had a 10 yr. old girl who came in with her mom, and I asked her if she'd ever had a massage before and she said this was her first one.  Her mom said, "Just tell the therapist any areas of tension that you want her to work on, any areas that are bothering you" - the girl didn't say anything, I doubt she even knew what the word "tension" meant!  I mean, what tension does a 10 yr. old have?

I once attended a 16 yr. old who I asked, "Is this your first massage?"  She replied to my surprise, "Oh no, I get them all the time!"  When I was sixteen, I was going to the mall or jumping on a trampoline with my friends, not getting massages in luxury hotels at $150 an hour!

I really love my job when they send me to the Presidential Suite to do an in-suite massage for a 13 yr. old soccer player, now this is the life I signed up for!  If only every day at the spa was like this!

I recently attended a lady who requested me over the whole week she was on vacation, on the last day this is what she wrote on her comment card:  "The massage was excellent, but I would prefer that the therapist NOT call me Dear - I'm not so old!"  This was just an expression of endearment on my part because she was in a lot of pain from her hips and arm injuries and she was older, and as she was from England, I assumed this would be appropriate as everyone there calls you "Dear", it was just a caring way for me to say, "I hope you feel better, dear".  Well, apparently she was insulted!  For this, I will probably lose my commission :-(

Other reasons we would lose our commission: they didn't feel like they were pampered enough, the therapist didn't lift their feet and place them in the foot ritual bowl, they didn't like the smell of the chocolate oil, it gave them a headache, the therapist didn't apply the body mask on their breasts or buttocks (she wrote on her comment card: "my butt likes chocolate, too!"), the pressure was not enough for them to feel satisfied (after me getting up on the table and giving them my all for two hours) - if the client was that unhappy, why didn't they end the massage and not "suffer through" for two hours!?

A Day in the Spa - Part 1

What it's REALLY like to work in a spa

I finally got out of the jail, and now I work in a very nice hotel, one which I can only describe as "if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere"!  The most challenging thing I have to deal with every day is satisfying the hard-to-please, crazy guests who come for massage at the spa ~ the Swedish and prenatal massages are deep and the deep tissue are super super deep, I've never met clients that wanted such strong pressure before, but I like the spontaneity of the workplace - I never know who I am going to massage in a day, sometimes it's Dolce & Gabbana, sometimes it's Courtney Cox, and sometimes it's some old geezer who I'm afraid is going to die on the table!  I remember one time I was giving a celebrity a massage and there were so many people outside the hotel waiting, just hoping to get his autograph, and here I am, touching his body all over! 

The other day a guest asked me what it's really like to work in a spa, "behind the scenes", and I told her honestly it can be quite stressful, but that we try our best to make them believe they are coming into a calm, peaceful, zen environment with floating, relaxing music.  First, the things we have to carry - sheets, towels, heavy marble bowls, a kit of 12 aromatherapy oils in heavy glass bottles with testers, heavy hot stone ovens and foot ritual bowls.  We have a big duffel bag we carry from room to room (out in the jungle, of course) and for each massage we have to prepare a foot ritual in a heavy cast-iron bowl.  My friend asked me if we have helpers to carry the bags for us, ya right!  

The only thing predictable about our job is the unpredictability of it - sometimes guests have booked a hot stone massage but when they show up, they are sunburnt and need a different treatment, so we have to haul ass to the kitchen and whip up the cucumber and aloe vera wrap in the blender within 5 minutes time, switch rooms, and set up the new room with plastic sheets, towels, etc.  At the last minute, the booking agents can change the room on us - all of a sudden the client wants a hot stone massage, so we have to heat up the stones, sometimes changing them from room to room at a moment's notice when couples arrive fighting and decide they want to be in separate rooms, or vice versa.  We only have 20 min. in between each service to change sheets, clean up the foot ritual, put new towels, prepare for our next treatment, etc., sometimes carrying things very far when we have a massage outdoors.  There is no time for bathroom breaks and no time to drink water, we are like little storms in a teacup once we leave the client at the relaxation area!

I've really seen it all here.  I will get guests who tell me they've never had a massage before, are ticklish, and don't like much of their body massaged (?), why don't they book a facial instead?  How they are allergic to all kinds of aromas, but want the aromatherapy massage!  How they are claustrophobic but want the body wrap, which they will be wrapped up in a tight cocoon for 30 min!  How they don't want any knuckles, thumbs, elbows or forearms massaging them, just palms for a strong deep tissue massage, how can I do deep tissue without thumbs?  How they will say that it was the best massage ever of their life, then when they get to reception they paint a different story to get a free massage.

I love my coworkers, they make me laugh a lot, I have so much fun with them, the other day this huge man came for a massage and we were joking about him being like a gorilla and that he needed two massage therapists to attend him, and of course no one wanted to do the massage, we were offering each other all our tips to whoever would take him on!

Pirates Are Real?

My friend who recently travelled from Australia to Mexico to visit me, said her family was very worried about her safety while travelling in Mexico, I asked her what she had heard about Mexico and this is what she said:

1.   Pirates are real

2. There are fake police

3. There are a lot of surfers here (which the cabi erroneously understood as "circus" and piped up, "Ya, Playa is a circus!"

4. There's no point suing for a bad balcony, just don't lean on them

I had a chuckle when I heard this list, if this is real, then where is Jack Sparrow??!