And She Didn't Live Happily Ever After...

Today I woke up in a Mexicoma.  I woke up thinking, Did that really happen or was it all a bad dream?

You know there's a problem when your psycho-stalker-ex-boyfriend texts you first thing in the morning on Valentine's Day to wish you a good day and not your ACTUAL boyfriend.

Following the advice of my friend who swears by "The Rules", she told me, "let him plan the date".  I waited all day in my nicest dress for him to plan something romantic, he said he would call after work at 5pm, he called on Mexican time, 6pm, said he was in a cafe with a friend of his and did I want to join them?  No, I don't want to spend Valentine's Day with him and his friend, I was hoping he would have planned something special for the two of us. I told him I liked surprises and was hoping he had planned something romantic for us. He mumbled something about him not really being that "type of guy". He said he needed 2 hours to finish his coffee and get home to shower and then he would come see me and we could go out dancing.  I went out with a girlfriend in the meantime and was almost asleep on her couch by 8pm, still no call from him.  She drove me home.  On the brink of tears, I decided not to stay home alone and sad, I took my dog and went to an Italian restaurant to eat, alone, amongst many happy, loving couples.  I felt like a real loser, but having my faithful dog by my side made me feel a little bit better (the more I get to know men, the more I love my dog!).

I decided to send him a text, telling him that I felt really disappointed that he didn't plan anything special, by this time it was already 9 pm and my meal was on its way. He called me 20 minutes later to say, "Amor, what do you mean?  I was waiting for you to call, I prepared a surprise for you, something special that I made with my hands, don't you dare stand me up."  Stand you up??!!  Ya right, the day is almost over and I'm eating alone, I hardly doubt he had any surprise planned.  He shows up at the restaurant around 10pm, I was fuming.  He gave me a rose with a poem that he wrote attached to it, I told him I would read it later.  As we walked home at a distance from each other, he asked me what was wrong.  I had a puss-on face, not happy that he didn't plan anything romantic, and told him, "You are the man, you are supposed to plan something special for the lady on this day".  He got all offended and said, "I'm not one of those Mexican men who bow down to the woman and treat her like a princess, you think you are sooooo special, you're not like the last bottle of water on the island honey, yet you want to be treated like you are someone special, maybe you should date someone who works in an office, they are more obedient".  Then he continues on complaining that it cost him 80 pesos to take a taxi to come see me (I paid for the dinner which he ate half of), and that I wasn't worth the 80 pesos!  I offered to give him money for the taxi and he got offended.  Then he grabbed the rose out of my purse and angrily started tearing off the petals and ripping up the poem and threw everything in the garbage bin in the street and walked away grumbling something about "spending one week writing a poem for a crazy person".

I’m actually afraid to see him again, for fear he might have me arrested for breaking his heart!

I'm grateful that I have a great friend who came over to make me laugh and get me out of my Mexicoma today.  She brought her son and while he was in the bathroom I recounted the evening to her. When he came out, he had missed a few parts of the funny Valentine's Day story and wanted to hear more and he basically summed it up to this: "And she didn't live happily ever after!"  Kids can sure make you laugh, my niece also said about my relationship stories, "Once you get the guy going, it ends bad kind of like a burnt muffin".  Awwwww mi vida!  Why are they so darn intelligent?!

Dating in Mexico has been a challenge, mostly because I seem to attract married or emotionally unavailable men, psychos or stalkers, but as my dating guru says, "Why should that affect my confidence? Just because he's a stalker, it doesn't mean he has bad taste!"

I'm Nobody's Bank!

Lately I’m tired of poor people, and people who don’t want to work…and I'm not talking about the "real" poor people in Mexico who are struggling to work 2 jobs to feed their families tortillas and rice, I'm talking about all these foreign runaways and con-artists, who end up in the City of Broken Hearts and somehow adopt this “mañana” lifestyle attitude of play hard, work not.

My best friend (who lives entirely on donations) recently called me up and suggested we go out for lunch: "We can go somewhere cheap and split a meal?”  No, I don’t want to split a hamburger, I want a whole meal!

The boyfriend has gone one week without credit on his phone and said he lost his bank card.  He lives day to day, peso to peso.  I say to him, “How can you live like that, don't you have any savings or credit card?”  I was talking with a Canadian friend of mine who also had a boyfriend who used to call his bank and ask why his card was not working.  I told her, “I doubt there was anyone on the line, it’s all a made-up story to get us to pay for them”.  Then my friend said, “In Canada, we just don’t live like that, we have credit cards when we run out of money, it’s just a different lifestyle here”. Then she asks, “Do you know any people with money here?”  I said, “Let me think….no!”  

I used to give my ex-boyfriend a hard time when he didn’t want to tip or pay for his meal, and I would say, “Don’t be so cheap!”  And he would throw up his hands in despair and in his broken English he would respond completely innocent, “It's not because I'm cheap, it’s because I don’t have”.

I’ve had 5 grown, able men ask me to lend them money ~ I’m not a bank!

I went on a date awhile back for a coffee and as history repeats itself, he didn't have any money!!  I show up and he didn't respond to my last text because he said he had no credit and not even 20 pesos for the weekend....then he proceeds to tell me that his ex has a restraining order against him, he's completely broke and hasn't had a job in 5 years, and was thrown in jail by his ex-business partner...it was like one explosion after another.  I appreciated his honesty but…the man should know this is not going to impress a woman!

Then later he says, "You could buy me a coffee?"

I said, "No, I don't maintain men."

I'm so tired of this type of man, just looking for a foreigner to pay for them.

He says, "You look like a rich heiress from Vancouver.  I'm hoping a nice kind soul will lend me some money to get through the weekend.” I'm thinking, Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. Ok, maybe I do need to dress down a bit, maybe not look so nice?

I told him, “I’m really sorry that happened to you and I hope things get better for you”.  I never offered to pay for him, we sat outside at the coffee shop and didn't drink anything.

I’m growing a thick skin now and have a very low tolerance for BS these days.  Seriously, who invites a woman out that has no money to even buy a coffee?  I won’t even pay for my friends anymore ~ why should I live with less coz they don’t want to work?

Then he says to me, "I'm really good at sales, I can sell you anything"...and in my mind I'm thinking, Well, you sure haven't sold yourself to me yet!!!