Initially I was overwhelmed, but gradually (after about four years!) I realized it's like a wave, resist and you will be knocked over, dive into it and you will swim out the other side! Mexico was a completely new and different world, the challenge was to cope with it, and not just cope, but thrive. It wasn't easy for an independent, career-oriented woman to adjust to the idea of being taken care of by a man and staying home to cook and clean. Old habits died easier than I thought, and new ones formed. I had to get used to the chaos that started at 7am, the noise, the heat, the language, the extreme cultural differences - Mexico has such an invasion on the senses, those who know the country well just go about their business, they don't complain much, but nothing could prepare MO and I for this chaos and we had some trouble in the beginning...
I have to mention my good friend and confidant, MO, from California, who without her input and hilarious stories, this blog would not have come to fruition. I owe tribute to MO for coming up with the name for my blog, we originally wanted to write a book called Living in Mexico for Dummies, because as MO said, "You'd have to be a dummy to want to live in Mexico!" We wished that someone had warned us how hard it was going to be. MO and I were neighbours, expats living and struggling to survive in a third world country, trying to communicate with our broken Spanish and the many frustrations of dealing with the local doctors, plumbers, landlords, telephone companies, banks, immigration office, maids and fumigators. We learned how to be frugal in Mexico, how to live on nothing, except love. Well, I had love, MO had a series of creepy doctors who used to want to come to her house to check her blood pressure...
Survival Skills for Living in Mexico for Dummies
Must be willing to go without water for up to 3 days, as well as live without electricity, phone, and gas periodically. If you call them and they can't find you, it's because they either are coming mañana or because your street address is "Calle 6 entré Avenida 20 y 25" and they are lost!
Must have extra patience when dealing with immigration offices, government offices like CFE, banks or any telephone company, Telmex or cell phone company. Must be willing and prepared to bring original and copy of every document you own - birth certificate, passport, FM3 or FM2 immigration document, comprobante de domicilio. If you have been standing in line for awhile and you finally get to the window/counter at 2:15 pm and they are about to close, they will not have empathy and they will tell you to come back - you guessed it - "mañana" to start the process all over again! In smaller towns, most businesses close between 2 and 4 for lunch, banks close around 3:30 or 4:30 and government offices can close as early as 2:30 pm, immigration offices close at 1:00 pm.
Everything is complicated in Mexico, they don't like to make things easy for people and customer service is lacking, except in restaurants, where they are usually very attentive and will be at your beck and call, I think it's because they get a wage of 65 pesos a day and work primarily for tips, other workers don't, they get a very low salary and that's it. Many companies will have extra staff just to motion you through to the next person, passing you on but not really helping you in any way. Nextel is a prime example of this, the front receptionist will sit behind a desk that has a sign saying "Customer Service Representative" but they won't actually do anything for you, except tell you that you need to go stand in the next line for a representative to help you with your problem, you go to that line and after waiting for a long time, they will tell you, "We can't do that at this sucursal, you have to call the 1-800 number to arrange that". I'm not sure why they even employ people at Nextel sucursales, they have never actually been able to help me with anything. Fabric stores are the same - there will be one salesperson to cut it, one person who folds it and sends it to the packaging area, one cashier to charge you, and then you have to take your paid receipt to the packaging area to pick it up where another person bags it for you. Banks will have a lot of employees with their windows closed, managers don't jump in to help out when the lines get long. When you line up at the local OXXO convenience stores there will be 2 or 3 cashiers but only one will be working. OK my blood pressure just went up writing that.
We don't pay bills online here or send cheques in the mail, we go and stand in line and pay in cash for electricity bills, cell phone bills, water bills, etc. You can't send anything of value in the mail, it will get stolen. Even MO sent me some dollar store dish cloths from USA and only half of them showed up!
Every police whether it be motorcycle or patrol pickup, will have a built-in whistle, and will use it periodically when they see a hot woman walking down the street. My friends were visiting from Canada in the winter months and as Mexico's winter was still tanning weather to them, they went to the local park to suntan in their bikinis, they got a lot of rounds from the patrol cars with their built-in whistles and all the conservative locals in their sweaters and jackets just stared. If you are going to smaller towns, the people dress very conservative and short-shorts are not appropriate. Save your short-shorts for the beach.
Beware when asking for directions as Mexicans tend to think short distances are really far, and they are not accustomed to walk, once I was looking for a store and I asked a man on the street, "Is it close, can I walk there?", to which he replied, "Ooooh noooooo, señora, it's very far, you have to take a taxi", so I get into a taxi and it's only 4 blocks!
Mexicans are famous for not having "no" in their vocabulary, they will usually say yes to any of your requests, regardless if they can help you or not, and then they will delay with as many "mañanas" as they can until they will just disappear or never call you back again. You may periodically ask the produce workers in Soriana grocery store for something that isn't out on display, and while they may appear to want to help you, you may never see them again once they go behind those double-swinging doors.
If you go to a nightclub and want to have a table for the night, usually you have to purchase a bottle of tequila or rum and they will come with ice buckets and pop and serve your table drinks all night long, but don't worry, they let you take the bottle home with you if you don't finish it!
Mexicans don't call when they say they will, if you leave them a message, they will not get it, you must be active and keep calling if you want anything done in this country.
Must be willing to go without water pressure and/or hot water in the shower.
Must be willing to live with large flying cockroaches, mosquitoes, earwigs and scorpions year round.
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| This is actual scorpion found in my kitchen! Que miedo! |
Must like constant noise and be willing to be awakened early in the morning because the chaos starts at 7 am - water trucks, gas trucks blaring their signature song "servicio y calidad", bicycle street vendors with squeaky horns selling water, bread vendors who clap their hands, fruit vendors who call out "NARANJAS!", roosters in the city, frogs concert at night, or construction that can continue until 11 pm. My neighbors recently acquired two roosters, and these roosters don't just crow once at the crack of dawn, they crow all day long, and I ask myself, "Who the heck has roosters living in the city?!" Only in Mexico this would happen!
Don't ever go to the police for help, it's no good, they won't do anything and most likely are the bad guys.
It's useless to complain, Mexicans have no concept of Customer Service and won't care about what happened in their store, restaurant, bank, etc.
Mexican banks can hold your money and bank card for reasons like not having an updated FM3 immigration card. This can be problematic as it takes one month to renew your immigration card.
Always carry a roll of toilet paper and anti-bacterial wipes while travelling in Mexico, many public restrooms, especially at gas stations, will not have toilet paper, nor toilet seat, nor soap and many times no water to flush or wash your hands.
Hair cuts for ladies seem to be a challenge to get good layers cut in your hair, but the right color or highlights seem to be easy for them to achieve here. Get your haircuts done at home.
Moctezuma's Revenge (Traveller's Diarrhea) - how it got this name is because Moctezuma was an Aztec ruler who was killed in 1520 during the Spanish conquest of Mexico, so legend has it that for his revenge, any foreigner who travels to Mexico will get this awful diarrhea - this is an inevitable experience you must go through when you are in Mexico - avoid eating salads or any food sold from street vendors on carts, as soon as you land in Mexico, start eating yogurt right away, this will help get your digestive system used to the bacteria in Mexico. I have had every sickness - Typhoid Fever, Salmonella and a lot of stomach infections, now I'm just waiting for the Dengue to hit me. It is really true what they say, don't drink the water, drink the margaritas!
Bring books - it's hard to find books in English and there are no libraries here. If you live in a city that has Sanborns, you can find some English books and magazines there, otherwise you will be out of luck.
There will be people that chase you down at Walmart, Mega or Soriana in the parking lot to help you with your groceries. These people will literally take over your cart and start wiping down your windows or offer to wash your car while you shop. Also, the people who bag your groceries are not employed by the grocery stores, so you can give them a tip if you wish.
Bring lots of your favorite toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, makeup from home. What's in Mexico is crap and worse the water you have to wash with!!
You can go into Mexicans' homes with your shoes on, they actually prefer it as most homes have tile flooring and they don't take their shoes off in the house.
"Te invito" - don't confuse this with "I'm inviting you out", in Mexico if you say this, it means the other person understands that you will pay everything for them.
"Ahorita regreso, ahorita te lo doy" - this translates into English as "I'll be back right away, I'll give this to you now" but in Spanish this can mean a broad space of time - can mean within one day but can extend to tomorrow or the next day.
Never trust the utility people that come around reading CFE meters. One month it's cheap, the next month it's 800 pesos! It's useless to fight this, I went on vacation for a month and came back to the highest bill ever, I wasted 2 hours of waiting in line to complain and to prove that I wasn't even there in the house, all they said was that it was maybe a "fuga" in my electricity meter, but that I would have to pay or they would cut it off. There is a lot of corruption with this company where people can fix the meter so that someone else pays for their electricity. I've since learned, just pay it, and save your frustration and time.
Pedestrians don't have the right of way in Mexico - cars will speed up and run you down, even though we have a lot of speed bumps on every block!
Don't panic when you get in a taxi and there are no seatbelts, this is the norm in Mexico, some even have them cut out.
There is a lot of corruption, but sometimes you can use it to your advantage, like when your new car doesn't pass verification (like AirCare), they hooked up my car to the exhaust pipe of an old rusted Bronco truck to get it to pass!
Everywhere you go, people will most likely try to rip you off as a foreigner, it's just the culture of Mexico, "El que no transa, no avanza". Tell everyone when you're in Mexico that you are poor - "soy pobre" should be your two favorite words, yes always let them know you are a POOR person, they expect every foreigner to be rich and you will get ripped off every chance they get with you!! If you get a car, buy a beat up old acid washed truck like my friend MO did, that makes you look like a poor rancher so that you blend in, that way no one will want to stop you and want to do a begging thing or act like a clown and do a juggle act for money at the stoplights!!!
Never dress up like the rich Mexicans do!! Don't call attention to your status - leave your stilletos and fancy jewlery at home.
Never buy meat that looks like a porter house steak, I dont care how much you beat it up it will taste like the cow was eating paper bags!
Don't think that your recipes will turn out the same in Mexico - the flour is different and the altitude affects your recipes. Also, the dials on the ovens here are just 1-2-3-4 so there is no way to tell what the temp. is!
Get used to seeing a lot of stray dogs around town, most of them are harmless.
Recycling programs don't exist here yet - they say that the garbage trucks separate the recycling from the garbage but I haven't seen it yet.
Stop getting stressed and frustrated living here, you were the "dummy" who decided to live here in the first place!!
Perks of Living in Mexico for Dummies
The weather - 365 days of sun!
You can live relatively cheap here and have a great lifestyle working part-time, have a maid, have a better quality of life, take more siestas.
You will be surrounded by the happiest, most joyful and hospitable people you will ever know in your life.
It's a very social, spontaneous place, you can do the "pop-in" without your friends having to "pencil you in", people live to play, not live to work, they enjoy life!
Life is just more simple, people look you in the eye and say "Buenos dias, how's your day?" They are not consumed by the latest gadget or Iphone, or tuned out on their headphones, they are present and take time to really acknowledge your presence and smile and say hello, I love the warmth and friendliness of the people.
It's not materialistic, most people don't spend their whole weekends at the shopping malls or in front of the TV, the great weather ensures that you will always want to be outside.
The food is pretty fabulous, especially the chicken, it's very tender and flavorful here, ceviche, tacos, tamales, chile rellenos, mole, hand-made tortillas made from blue corn, and all the exotic fruit that we don't get at home - tuna (cactus pear), dragon fruit, jicama, strawberry-papaya. When I first moved here the hottest thing I could eat was pepperoni, now I love all kinds of chile and salsas.
You can go to the pharmacy and purchase a lot of drugs that you would normally need a prescription for at home - Retin A cream and Benzoyl Peroxide is very cheap, 1/4 of the price of what you pay at home, sometimes you can just tell them your symptoms and they will give you a remedy. Until 2009, you didn't need a prescription for antibiotics, now you do, but I know a friend who just took the name of the antibiotic written on a sticky-note and held her belly and they gave it to her!
Taxis are available on every corner and pass by every 2 minutes, usually they are reasonable, but make sure to negotiate the price before getting in, I've been kicked out of a few taxis halfway home for not agreeing to their crazy high fare, I must have looked like I was a tourist (LOL). You may want to close your eyes though, as many drive very crazy. But to be honest, I have rarely seen them crash.
Bus transportation between cities is cheap, efficient and more comfortable than an airplane, if you choose ETN, ADO or Primera Plus, you can expect a good service, A/C, movies, on time and wide reclining seats - it's like First Class, as some even have wi-fi nowadays - they will even give you a small bagged lunch with a sandwich, water and a cookie. Some have direct service from the airports to the town you are going to, but if you decide to go on a budget with a cheaper busline or between small towns, these buses can be more challenging without A/C, and there may be chickens, musicians and other crazy things in the back of the bus. One time I was travelling with a friend between my town and another small town and the bus had standing room only, there was an 18 litre "garrafon" of water on one of the seats behind the driver, so my friend moved it to the floor and sat down, the driver got so upset and kept giving us dirty looks all the way there, but my friend said, "I'll be damned if I'm going to stand for 1 hour while that bottle of water gets to ride comfortably!"
You can park anywhere and don't have to worry about your car getting towed or ticketed, tickets don't exist in Mexico, on a rare occasion they may take your license plate but it's a small fee to pick it up, only the corrupt police will ask for a few pesos to let you go, I heard recently that some police even say, "Can I give you my paypal account?"!!
VIP movie theatres - these are in the bigger cities but have amazing service like reclining lazy boy chairs, martinis - you have your own waiter that brings you whatever you wish.
Beauty treatments are very cheap - manicures, pedicures, massages, hair colour, waxing - you will pay 1/4 of the price you pay back home.
Only one wardrobe: You never have to wear socks or shoes again, flip flops are worn year round here.
You can be late for everything and no one notices.
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