In The Jail - Part 1

I am not Mayan, nor could I ever be mistaken for a Mayan woman, not even in my very colourful embroidered Mayan uniform with a red sash, but I played one in real life.  In the spa where I worked when I first arrived to the City of Broken Hearts, we had to welcome every guest with an energy cleanse (I believe this is called "smudging" in Native American traditions).  Here in Mexico it is an ancient Mayan tradition used to cleanse and repel evil influence.  My coworkers and I would go to the open fire, grab hot coals and put them into a "copalero", a ceramic pot where we would mix the coals with fresh rosemary, cinnamon and copal that would initiate a smoke that we would blow around the people before their treatment - sometimes sparks would fly and ashes would land in their hair or on their skin.  I always burned myself on the hot coals in the fire, I used to chuckle to myself because I'm so not Mayan and I have this Mayan uniform and have to smoke the people's energy!

This was nothing compared to our duties called the "checklist" - we all had to take a turn daily and come into work at 7am (2 hours earlier than our normal shift) once a week to clean the black stuff off the candle holders, oil down the tables, clean the rooms, and count how many little facial towels there were, and if any were missing, we had to figure out where they were.  Many days I got to work so tired, wondering how I ever agreed to do this for 64 pesos a day?  Popping out 30 candles, putting the candle holders into the sink and washing them with soap, drying them and then putting the candles back in, refilling the sand and incense sticks - really ridiculous chores!  It was originally started as a punishment, but before my time.

The hotel was so strict, it was like being in a jail, employees had a separate entrance than suppliers, and if we were caught walking in that entrance, we would be in trouble (all that separated them was a small bush!).  There was a fat authoritative figure sitting behind a desk at the entrance who would punch our timecard, which we had to sign, and if we were late or missed a day for a sickness, they would take away our tips for three days.  We had to show up with our uniform on, clean and pressed and were checked daily for any wrinkles, we were not allowed to go into the hotel with any purses, bags or cell phones.  Sometimes we were asked to take a breathalizer test at the end of our shift, all of us had to take it before they would punch our timecard and we had to stand in a line for them to check our bags.  

One time I had checked my timecard after my shift but forgot that I needed to get my new uniform from the warehouse, which was about 30 ft. from the entrance.  I stepped over the line and the fat authoritative figure said, "Don't take one more step, you cannot cross that line after you have checked your timecard!"  They treated us like pheasants on a good day, criminals on a bad day.

From Prada to Nada

After 9 years living in my little conservative town in Central Mexico, my relationship with the Mexican ended and I moved to an even smaller beach town.  I like to call it the "City of Broken Hearts", as everyone, including me, has come here with a broken heart, in search of healing because of all the new age therapies, the calming ocean and unlimited resources of yoga and meditation you can find here.  My life eerily unfolded just like Liz Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love.  I lost my business, my home and the love of my life, put everything I had in storage and arrived to the beach with nothing but a small suitcase for vacation and I never looked back…well, almost never, actually I looked back A LOT OKAY?!  I had it good with the Mexican, I was a domestic goddess that worked part-time and travelled the rest of the time.  Now I had to work harder than I ever would in my life.

I landed a job, a roommate and a boyfriend all in the first week, everything flowed so I knew it was meant to be…it was always my dream to live at the beach, but I didn't know it was going to be even more of a challenge.  Now on my own in Mexico, I had to face a lot of change - I went from a stable, working, family environment to WTF is this craziness?  

There are two things most expats do here at the beach: work in hotels or timeshares, I chose the hotel route.  All hotel workers have to work 6 days a week here, with 4 days off a month what can you possibly do with your life?  Management jobs are actually worse, not better as you might think, requiring you to work 12-14 hour days, remember Mexicans are used to arriving late and leaving late?  

On my one day a week off, I mostly just wanted to sleep, but I had one day to get groceries, check email, do laundry, pay bills, do banking, no time for fun!  I didn't do any yoga or even walk on the beach the first month.  I was mourning my life as a housewife!  It got dark here at 5 pm and if I was lucky and got to work the morning shift, I would get home at 4 and then have one hour and have to make the most of it, I needed time management baby!!!  I desperately wanted balance in my life, and the new boyfriend wanted me to spend all my spare time with him and I didn't have the energy or time, I wanted to have part-time boyfriend only. 

Everything was the opposite of what my life used to be - I went from dry to humid weather, I had no computer so I was back to internet cafes, I sold my car and got a bicycle and started taking the bus to work, no laundry machine so I was back to washing my clothes by hand, no stove so back to cooking on a hot plate and no Mexican, now I was living with a roommate and sleeping in a single bed - grrrrrr!  I was back to the frugal life, feeling like I was in college again, sitting on a plastic stool and eating on my roommate's massage table in the living room!!  When my sister saw the pictures of my apartment, she was so concerned about where I sat to eat dinner, I told her: "Don´t you know that us single gals eat standing up over the sink, that is why we stay skinny!".  I was so busy that I didn't have time to think "woe is me" anymore.  I went from working part-time to slave, I never had time to meet new friends and I hardly saw my roommate, I enjoyed chatting with my coworkers, as we all shared a common bond and understood each other.  A lot of people that I met at work and at the beach were all running away from something traumatic that happened to them in another city in Mexico, it appeared that we all were in the same boat here, seeking emotional refuge in each other, wanting to start a new life.

Hidden Gems of Mexico - Part 2

Another special place I like to go for a romantic getaway is Careyes, located in the Costalegre Region, between Puerto Vallarta and Barra de Navidad.  

From the first moment of arrival, we were so impressed with the personal and outstanding service they gave us - we were greeted with cold aromatherapy towels, led to our beautiful casita, "Papaya", with an open terrace/kitchen and breathtaking views of the bay.  They even offered to upgrade us to a larger 2-bedroom casita with a private plunge pool, but we declined as our casita had a better view.  This is a very romantic, unique and charming place, even the linens seemed to pick up the lovely smells from the flowers and nature around the casita.  The brightly colored casitas and bougainvillea flowers just made me smile every day.  You will get plenty of exercise hiking up and down the stairs to the beach and restaurant below.

The highlight of our trip was that we got to release baby turtles into the ocean.  The service here was impeccable, the staff went the extra mile to make sure we were well taken care of.  I would highly recommend this place for honeymooners, couples or anyone just wanting to get away and escape into a peaceful environment with birds and wildlife.  You will enjoy the sounds of the chachalacas (mini peacocks) that surround the villas.

You can take a drive down to Boca de Iguanas, a quiet beach about 45 min. away and enjoy a platter of delicious fresh oysters for 120 pesos.

The secret to staying here on a budget?  Go to www.luxurylink.com and you can find 4-night packages for approx. USD$1,200 that includes breakfast daily at the Playa Rosa Restaurant, couples massage, bottle of tequila and fresh fruit bowl.  I had the absolute best enchiladas in my life here, the breakfasts were so luxurious and filling, not "continental" like in most places.  The spa was equally a great experience, while not super luxurious but the therapists were great.  www.careyes.com.mx

What You Resist, Persists!

At first, I was flattered by the attention I got being a blond in Mexico, sometimes even feeling like a celebrity in my little town, where there were hardly any foreigners - everyone was so interested to talk to me, find out where I was from, etc. but after awhile, the charm wore off and I wanted to dye my hair brown.  But my Mexican boyfriend said, "it won't matter, they can spot you a mile away by the way you dress".  I guess that was an insult to my flip-flops and shorts attire, as locals usually only wear this type of clothing at the beach!  I never really notice it, how much I stand out, I'm just used to being in Canada, where it's very multi-cultural and there's a bit of everything. 

If you're single and looking to pick up men in Mexico, highways might be a great option for you!  My very first road trip by myself, I drove 4 hours from my little town to another city to visit a girlfriend, and on my way home, I stopped at a gas station and continued on to my exit on the highway towards home.  I started to notice this car in front of me driving very slow, so I passed, then it sped up and passed me again, then pulled in front of me and slowed down again.  I passed again, it passed me again and he started waving as he drove by.  I don't know how he could see me that well as I had a scarf hanging in my window to shield me from the sun.  Then we came to a toll booth and he was in front.  When I drove through, the lady handed me his business card and told me the gentleman wanted me to call him, but he didn't pay my toll!  He kept playing the same game until his exit finally approached, and he pulled over and was waiting for me to stop and say hello.  OK, I think I'm cute, but not THAT cute that a guy would follow me 3 hours on the highway to get my number!  When I told my Mexican friends about it, the first thing they asked was, "What kind of car did he drive?"  I'm like, it doesn't matter, he's a psycho!!

Trucks would drive by on the highway and men would just hang out the window, waving and smiling or yelling at me.  I'm not sure how they can see me from so far away.  A policeman stopped me once on my way home on the highway, and I asked him "What did I do?"  And he's like, "Nothing, I just wanted to get your number."

Another time I was in a market with a friend from Canada, and we were having breakfast at a little juice stand, all of a sudden this group of about 12 guys came up to us and asked if they could take a picture with us, we said sure, so they crowd around us and we are in the middle, just laughing, thinking we are going to be in some scrapbook somewhere and we don't even know these guys.  Then later they start following us around and want to film us, we started to get annoyed and could not get rid of them, we ended up running around the market in a maze trying to lose them and they were chasing after us with a camera!  We ended up hiding out in a little leather shop.  My friend was really freaked out and was paranoid the whole day.

Being blond has definitely been advantageous in Mexico, like when I applied for a membership at the movie rental place.  Normally, they ask for 2 references that they call and you have to have a sponsor sign for you, but because I was a foreigner, they said, OK, we'll just waive that and you can rent right away!  Also, travelling with me has its perks, usually I get ushered through customs right away and never get stopped to see what's in my luggage.  Here, they love foreigners coz they are just waiting to rip you off the minute you step outside the airport!

Lucky in Love...er Guanajuato

They say if we are lucky, we only get one great love in our lifetime, so if this is true, then I think Guanajuato just may be mine...

Guanajuato has a beautiful energy, the city fascinates me and I always feel alive and want to sing when I walk the cobblestone streets downtown to the Jardin del Union, or sit outside the Teatro de Juarez, kiss at the Callejon del Beso, or meditate in all the beautiful churches. I like to take a bus through the underground tunnels or enjoy a coffee at the Zopilote Mojado Cafe.  

I like to stroll the streets and fantasize about living in those little apartments overlooking the streets with little plants and bougainvilleas hanging over wrought-iron terraces.  I always wanted to rent one of those little apartments just to feel what it would be like to wake up in the morning and open up the shutters to the veranda, sun on your face, and say "Good morning, Guanajuato!"

When I used to tell people in Canada that I lived near Guanajuato, the first thing they were curious about was the Museum of the Mummies, and I always got dragged to it when friends came to visit.  Myself, I find it a bit disturbing just how preserved they are - even their hair is still in tact, and you can see some mothers with a pregnant belly still. 

Guanajuato is also home to the famous International Cervantino Festival held every year in October, where you can enjoy music, art and theatre productions for three weeks long.

"La Callejoneada" is a night tour of all the streets in Gto. with a group of men from the Folkloric Ballet at the University who get dressed up in velvet outfits and lead you around playing guitar, singing Mexican folk songs, telling you legends about each street and drinking tequila disguised as Kool-Aid.

I was fortunate to attend the University of Gto's intensive Spanish program for 6 months.  Tuition here was extremely cheap - in those days it was 2003, I only paid 1200 pesos for the whole semester!  Here they don't charge you more because you are a foreigner.  If you want to learn Spanish, go here, it's the most bang for your buck and the teachers are fabulous.

Assault on the Tastebuds

The pig is not really a sacred animal in Mexico.  They hang them up by their legs or cut off their heads and display them in the open-air markets, squish them in trucks to go to the slaughter house, and serve them at elaborate weddings.  I remember my first Mexican wedding - it was very elegant, with round tables and chairs draped in white linens, wrapped with teal blue ribbons and bows, beautiful matching linen napkins, and in the middle of the table a big bowl of pig skin salsa - I thought it was a regular salsa as most tables always have a bowl of salsa on them - so I started to eat it with tortilla chips and then after a few chews of what I thought was onion, I realized it was like chewing on my arm - skin it was, Chicharron (pig skin) is a very common thing that Mexicans like to eat, I guess you could say it's a bit of a delicacy here - they like to eat it in the form of raw skin sliced up, or pickled and made into a salsa, or it can be dried into spicy or plain potato-like chips in a bag to snack on, they also sell it in the markets in big dried slabs and they eat it with pozole, in the form of a crunchy tostada with salsa ontop, or slow cooked in a spicy tomato sauce served for breakfast.  I have seen people carrying huge bags of this up the streets on their backs on a hot Sunday.  But no matter how they prepare it, I have not warmed up to this dish.  Maybe the simulated chicharron potato chip, but even that I am not sure what's in it.

At my first Mexican birthday party, the main dish was a strawberry tamale with refried beans, which I thought was odd as it was like eating a sweet dessert with beans.  Corn tamales here can be sweet or savory - chicken with green sauce, green chile with cheese, pork with red sauce, prune, coconut, guava or strawberry.

Menudo is a rather repulsive dish, it's a soup made out of cow's stomach, but apparently it is famous for curing hangovers.  The pure smell of this cooking miles away can make me want to vomit more than from the alcohol I drank the night before, it really does smell like the inside of a cow's stomach!  I also inadvertently tried cow's tongue cut up in small pieces disguised as beef in a quesadilla.  I knew right away before even swallowing that it was like chewing on my own tongue!

Pozole is a Mexican soup made with white corn, chicken or pork, and they throw fresh lettuce, onion, oregano, lime and cilantro on top, I thought this was really disgusting the first time I tried it, to put fresh lettuce in hot soup, now I absolutely love it!

The only thing I have not tried yet is the iguana - if I could just catch one...

He Had Me @ Hello

It has been said that the English language is for business, French is for romance and Spanish is for talking to God.  Why is it that when Mexicans come to Canada, they have sexy accents in English, but when us Canadians go to Mexico, they say we sound like dogs barking when we speak Spanish?  Sometimes I really cringe when I overhear Americans and Canadians speaking Spanish, it's the worst accent ever, and I think 'Gosh, do I really sound like that?'  The European accent however is more fluent and understandable. 

A typical conversation at the gas station might go like this:

Me: "Hola"

Him:  "You're not from here, are you?"

Me: "Why?"

Him:  "Well, you speak kind of crooked"

All I said was hello!

Now I joke with the gas station attendants and I will say, "Yes, I was born here but I didn't learn how to speak Spanish properly" and they will give me a puzzled look and are not sure how to answer that.

A typical conversation in the market might go like this:

Me: “numero seis (6)” 

Him: “tres (3)?” 

Me: “no, seis (6)”

Him “diez (10)”

Me: “SEEEIS.”

Him: “Ahhhhhh seis.”

A Word About Mexican Friends...

I adore my Mexican friends, they adopted me into their social circles with open arms and they are the most fun, happy and loving people you will ever meet, but get yourself in a crisis and you need their help?  Usually they won't answer their phone and they won't come through for you - many of my Mexican friends have disappeared suddenly without a call or text to cancel when we had concrete plans and you can almost always expect a text a few days later about how they left their phone at home, their boyfriend got his finger slammed in the door of the taxi and they ended up going to the hospital, or that their mom's best friend arrived without notice to the airport and they had to pick her up, their cell phone died, they didn't have credit or some other invented Chinese story.  But the many Oxxo's on every corner can assure you that there's no more excuse for not having credit!

On the other hand, they can be incredibly honest about things - one night I was out with a friend and she ran into an ex-boyfriend and said to him, "What happened to you?  You got so fat!"  I could not believe it, as Canadians, even if your best friend asks you if she looks fat, you never say so.  Or she would tell me straight to my face that wearing flip-flops to a restaurant was not appropriate and that I should change.  

Mexican women dress up fancy wherever they go, whether it be to take out the garbage or go to the corner store, they always have their nails and hair done, lots of makeup, lots of jewellery, high heels, and they love to wear labels, whether they are fake or real.  Labels were hard to find where I was living, and if you did find them in a boutique somewhere, they were triple the price of what you would pay at home, so most people shopped in the tianguis markets where everything was fake.  Recently I was in Canada and I asked a friend if his Pumas sneakers were real, he laughed and replied, "What do you mean, real??!  What other kind are there?"  I got so used to people always asking me in Mexico if my purse, watch, etc. was real or from tianguis!  

Baby girls get their ears pierced before they leave the hospital and my friend would always put gel and accessories in her baby's hair, as well as put perfume on her.  Mexicans love to be well-groomed and always smelling nice!  Us Canadians could take a lesson or two from them...

The REAL Housewives of Mexico

I have rented apartments in Mexico that did not come with toilet seats, nor a fridge, stove and forget about finding one with a washer or dryer, this is considered a luxury here.  Most people only use washers as they dry their clothing in the sun.  This was very disconcerting for me when I first arrived as I was a bit of a princess coming from Canada and I wasn't willing to iron wrinkled clothes in my spare time!  The laundromats would not allow you to wash your own, so we would drop it off and for a small fee of about 6 pesos per kilo they would wash, dry and fold your laundry and pack it neat in a bag for you.  I thought this was a great luxury, until my first bunch of whites came back grey!  So I started washing things by hand or taking them to my mother-in-law's, but even she had one of those old-fashioned washing machines that only washed but did not spin the clothes!  Oh Cielos, it was like going back in time!

My first apt. did not have any cupboards or counters in the kitchen, just a sink with tiny taps and hardly any water pressure, and no counter around the sink in the bathroom and if we leaned too hard on it, it started falling from the wall!  The family loaned us a couch and a bed and we bought a small fridge for our daily essentials, an electric hot plate and made a toaster out of a coat hanger - I felt like I was camping most days, although I lived right downtown!  Thank goodness we lived right across the street from El Pipirin, "Cocina Economica" - a little kitchen that sold home-cooked Mexican food to go - every day I would line up with all the rest of the lazy housewives on the block at 12 noon and we would fight over the beans, rice, meat, salsa, tortillas and the special of the day like enchiladas or chile rellenos, they would put everything in a little sealed bag instead of a plastic container.  A meal here for two would only cost us about 60 pesos so it was cheap and delicious.  Many Mexican families run businesses out of their homes, so at night we would go to our favorite little house that sold tamales and "atole" - a hot drink made with corn flour and chocolate, or our favorite "tacos de pastor" at Los Pingüinos and Los Catrines, where they would put the hottest red salsa on your taco called "Resueño", which meant you would remember it because you would get diarrhea the next day!  

In those days, it was 1999 and it was very hard to find rentals, we found a house in a nice area out of town but were competing with other families for this house, it was the only one for rent!  So we ended up living downtown in a house that was made into 3 apartments, ours was at the top so there was hardly any water pressure.  And sometimes an odd green oily substance would come out of the shower, if we even had water at all, sometimes the wells in the street would be dry for 2-3 days.  And we would have to pack buckets of water up the stairs to flush the toilet.  I don't think we even had hot water, we just waited for the sun to heat the tank on the roof, I remember many times bathing with a bucket over my head because the water would just trickle out.  And I would have to go yell out the window at the neighbors downstairs to turn on the pump.  It was cold at night in the winter months with no heaters and tiled floors, and our apt. was infested with earwigs, flying cockroaches (I didn't know they could fly!), and other unrecognizable flying insects.  Street vendors would ring our doorbell at 7am to sell oranges, bread, etc.

Rent was very cheap, I think we paid around 3,000 pesos a month for that little apt.  But you are on your own to pay for any repairs, plumbing, etc. that may go wrong with your apt.  Mexican landlords will not pay these expenses for you, I have tried to explain that in Canada, this type of thing is included in our rent, they just give me blank stares.

Cell phones in those days were huge and expensive, so daily we would go to the internet cafe and write emails to our families.  My fiance's cousins lived nearby so we just did the pop-in whenever we wanted to get together, they didn't have cell phones, I think it was still pagers in those days!  We were not able to get a telephone in our house - Telmex had simply "ran out of lines" in our area, as hard as that was to believe.  My friends who had kids only had 2 or 3 toys, they did not have an excess of stuff for their kids like we do in Canada.

The highlight of my day would be going to the movie theatre because they miraculously had movies in English with Spanish subtitles so it was my little escape to feel somewhat "at home".  And movies were so cheap,  at 35 pesos it was becoming a daily habit.

I learned from the beginning of my journey, that you can live on very little, and I became very frugal because resources were simply just not there and I had to learn to live without my English magazines, TV, stove, telephone, washer and dryer and peanut butter!  I stopped knowing what was going on in the "real world" of celebrities, news, etc. and started living in a bubble.  My life got simpler and simpler as the days went on...

Where Are All The Toilet Seats?

I know they sell them in Mexico, I've seen them in every department store, but where are they?  This has been my biggest pet peeve!  I keep waiting to stumble upon the big secret of where they all are….Public washroom stalls will have missing doors with a seat, or a door but no seat, and some won't have any of the above and be full of s&*$ and plugged up because some foreigner put paper in the toilet.  You must always put toilet paper in the garbage bin, as disgusting at that may be, never flush it down the toilet, plumbing systems here cannot process paper.  

Bathrooms at bus stations will have locked revolving gates that you have to put a 5 peso coin in to get access - these will usually at least have paper, but still no toilet seats.  In airports, bars and malls, there is usually a señora who works at the sink for tips, she will hand you paper, and offer a little basket of gum, breath mints, condoms, etc. for a small fee.  In modern hotels, most likely there will be toilet seats, but not always, if it's a rustic hotel in a small town, not likely.  At the gas stations while travelling on highways, you are on your own baby - no toilet seats, no paper, no water and no soap!  Don't get me wrong, soap and toilet paper are widely available in Mexico, they just don't think it's a priority for bathrooms.  BYO!

Doing the "Pop-in" on a Gringo

The difference between American and Mexican hospitality

I recently did the "pop-in" on my morning bike ride in the neighbourhood of an American friend who lives in Mexico, and she had her family visiting and they were in the middle of their breakfast.  It was a very elaborate breakfast with fruit salads, fresh pastries, eggs and fresh juice.  She shooed me out as fast as I could say Gringo.  Now, a Mexican would never do this, they would welcome you in with a smile, a warm heart, open arms and make a space for you at their table and offer you a coffee, a cookie from their pantry or a leftover from their stove.  I'm not sure where they find all this food, but somehow a plate of quesadillas with beans and salsa will magically appear - Mexicans must start cooking early in the day, somehow they always have a pot of beans ready on the stove, tortillas and salsa, and can whip up a meal for 10 people in about 5 minutes - they always have extra because they are used to big, loud, family gatherings.  It's almost like they expected you to show up.  I like this spontaneous way of living.

Hidden Gems of Mexico - Part 1

A few of my secret hideaway places, off the beaten path...

San Jeronimo de Juarez, Guerrero

This little town is located about an hour's drive from Acapulco on the highway towards Ixtapa.  The town itself is nothing exciting, and if you blink, you might just miss it, but behind this town is a little treasure.  You can take a taxi or if you are driving, it's a 10 min. drive from the town to a lagoon that meets the Pacific Ocean, you can park your car there and cross the lagoon in a little "lancha" boat where you will find many rustic palapa "Enramadas" on the beach - restaurants with long picnic tables and hammocks where Mexican families like to spend their Sundays relaxing.  

Here you will enjoy the best grilled Huachinango fish - "A la talla" is my favorite, a spicy red marinade which is very traditional to this region.  They will bring you a bucket of cold beers, or a fresh cold coconut, then start serving you a 5-course meal that starts with black bean and cheese sopes, quesadillas with hand made tortillas, spicy prawn soup (fresh from the ocean with tail intact), then they will bring you the main course, a full grilled fish on the BBQ, comes with tortillas, rice, beans, and salsa "machacada".  Afterwards, you will need to take a little siesta in the hammocks and then you must try their signature dessert - fried bananas drizzled with condensed milk.  All of this meal for about 7 people will only cost you 500 pesos.  

I have travelled extensively all over Mexico from luxury resorts to frugal backpacking and this is the best food you will ever eat in Mexico!  We always visit the same restaurant and the señora has promised me she will teach me the salsa recipe, next time I go I will post it!  

The waves are pretty strong and you probably won't be able to swim here, but you can swim in the lagoon if you are not afraid of crocodiles or end the day with a walk on the beach and watch some of the most amazing sunsets!  This place is very rustic, many people come here to camp with tents, there are cold outdoor public showers and toilets that you put buckets of water down to flush.  Avoid going during the holy weeks of Semana Santa as you probably won't enjoy the crowds and seeing people bathe in the lagoon.  

If you decide to stay in the town, there are only 3 hotels, and none of them have A/C or hot water, some have roosters that will get you up early.  I usually stay in a nice place called Hotel Diana in Acapulco with a roof top pool for a very reasonable 550 pesos a night or in the neighbouring town called Tecpan, about 20 minutes away, where you can get a basic hotel with A/C and hot water for about 350 pesos a night.

El Solecito, Barra de Potosi, Guerrero

El Solecito is one of my favorite romantic places to travel, if you like to be lulled to sleep by the waves, you will enjoy staying in one of their small bungalows right on the beach.  It feels like the waves will enter your room, you are that close.  For USD$120 a night, you can rent a bungalow with a little kitchen, king size bed and a nice porch to sit and read and watch the sunsets.  A short walk on the beach and you will find Enramadas that serve the best fresh seafood soup, sopes and homemade salsas.  Breakfast is included, the chef is very good there, he was on his day off when we went and they actually called him in to specially cook for us.  

There are only 2 ocean front bungalows, #1 and #5, I like #5 the best so book early if you want ocean front.  We had a couples massage on the beach for 700 pesos.  They also have a very large pool if you feel the waves are too rough to swim in.  This little gem of a place is located in Barra de Potosi, about 20 min. outside of Zihuatanejo/Ixtapa on the highway towards Acapulco.  It can be difficult to find, it is best to call ahead for directions and try to arrive in daytime, it is a long drive down a little dirt road from the highway - we arrived late at night and the caretaker waited up for us.  

http://www.bungalows-solecito.com

In between these two lovely places I like to frequent a beach called Las Brisas, you can park your car on the side of the road and walk this beautiful long, wide virgin beach, it's great for photos as there are no people, and the waves are incredible.

Lost in Translation

Working in Mexico has been a challenge, mostly because I disagree with their discriminatory laws, 18-25 is the hiring bracket, they only want "solteros".  I was appalled when I was told by my Mexican friend that you have to put a picture, your marital status and your age on your resume, she said she only looks at the picture, if they are not attractive, the resume goes into the garbage right away!  I was 30 when I started to look for work in Mexico, so I had definitely missed the career train.  I even told one interviewer that I was getting married so that they would know I was stable and going to stay in Mexico, well his eyebrows went up and he said, "Oh no, we don't hire any married people here".  The thing is, most Mexican women stop working after they get married, very few will keep their jobs because their primary duty is to stay home and take care of the man.  

At another interview, the guy said to me, "I am going to be frank with you, because I want a really stable department and I don't want to go through hirings over and over, how long do you expect to stay with us?"  I told him that I was planning to get married, so I would be staying long term.  Then he asked me if I got married, would I stop working right away, I told him no, that it's not my culture to do that.  Then he asked me when I was planning to have kids.  I was really annoyed at these questions.  From that point on, I decided I was going to lie at every job interview and say I lived with my parents and that they are retired here and that I don't have a boyfriend!  I decided I would not get married until I had a job here, it's a real liability for anyone in a job search, if you're not 20-25, single and good-looking, forget it!  Even one newspaper ad for a waitress read: "Must be good-looking - Gordas (fat women) need not apply", and ads for live-in maids read: "una salida cada 15 dias" which means they would be allowed to leave the house every 15 days. 

I was afraid to even say my age because they would think, "She's 30 and too old, she probably will have kids soon".  In Mexico you get nowhere by being honest.  What ever happened to people being selected for their intelligence and ability to do the job and not focusing on their marital status?   I thought, If they don't give me the job, I am going to send him an email and give him a little shit, so I prepared an email about how married people have goals and dreams too and that we are intelligent people who work to be fulfilled and to challenge ourselves and that not all married women want to stay home and to think of that next time when considering hiring someone!  Of course as soon as I went to the office to type it out, sure enough there was an email from the HR manager offering me the job!  I couldn't believe it - I was in shock!  They offered me 10,000 pesos a month, medical and even vacation pay, which was a really good offer for a foreigner!  It was really so exciting that finally I was getting what I had hoped for - a full-time job in an international textile company!

In short, I hated it, I didn't like the operation of things - we were always short on the shirt orders or we sent the wrong shirts and I had to deal with angry customers from the USA.  The language barrier was tough, I didn't know how to talk about buttons, zippers, collars and different types of thread finishings in Spanish, and I would have to go to the production area and relay information from them back to the customer and sometimes I didn't understand and then I would ask over and over and finally pretend I understood the procedure as I didn't want them to think I was a total idiot.  I was worried I would relay the wrong info, misunderstand or something bad would happen.  I would promise the customers their order and then the production line would fail me, people were always quitting without notice and they had some serious communication problems with the production line.  

I also hated that in my contract my office hours were from 7:36 am to 5:36 pm but the production hours of the company were until 6:30pm so if you left before 6:30 pm you had to have a permission slip signed from your boss and they looked down on you if you left at your normal time.  But as a Canadian, I always showed up on time, was productive in my hours, and wanted to leave at 5:30!  The people I worked beside rarely left at 5:30, they would arrive at 8 or 8:30 am, putter around all day and stay until 6:30 or later.  I know some people might say I'm spoiled and what's one extra hour? But when you've already been there for 10 long hours, another hour seems like an eternity.  My friend told me, "Here in Mexico, if you leave on your time, people will think, 'oh that lazy girl, she won't move up in the company'".  I explained to her that in my corporate jobs in Canada, pencils were down and computers were off at 5pm sharp, no one stayed late.  She said no one will ever leave on time, they would rather doodle around at work and stay later than just be productive.  

I felt like I was in a prison - there was no escaping, security wouldn't let me out without a slip, and a lot of times my boss wasn't there to sign the slip, he was always in meetings.  If he was there and I asked him to sign, he would say to me, "You're leaving already, so early??!"  My second week there I was asked to sign a three month contract, I didn't go back!

Cockroaches Want to be Managers Too!

I decided after 4 years of travelling all over Mexico, learning Spanish, studying photography, taking dance classes, volunteering at orphanages, teaching English (anything to distract me from my life as an unhappy domestic goddess) that I wanted to work full time at an international company, get back to my roots as the career woman I was in Canada.  I had been living in Mexico on a tourist visa and flying home every six months.  I felt confident in my Spanish by then so it was time to search for jobs.  

Someone told me about a lead for a job at an international food company, but I lost the opportunity because they required someone who already had their papers, so I asked my fiancé to take me to the nearest immigration office.  Off we went, it was an hour's drive to another town, I was expecting a large office with lines and "take a number" type of place, much like our passport offices in Canada.  When we arrived, it was a tiny office with a glass door and one little metal desk in the middle of the room, I don't even think there was a phone on the desk, it was 9am and the door was still locked, all of a sudden a huge red cockroach came out behind the desk and my fiancé said to me, "Oh, here comes the manager", we had a good laugh!  

When the officer finally came out, he told me I needed an job offer letter from a company first before I could get approved for a working visa…so how was I going to do this if the company required a work visa first?  I tried every way possible to do it the honest way and nothing worked, I came home each time from the immigration office with frustration and in tears, finally my fiance's company gave me an offer letter to get the ball rolling, but still, it took another 3 months to get it approved.  One time I went and the officer was trying to pick me up, asking me if I wanted a Mexican boyfriend!?  I had to go back many times and face rejection, I would take everything they asked for, and they would tell me it had to be notarized or that I was missing something else that wasn't on the list.  I finally switched to another immigration office 2 hours away from my town, because they had more experience with foreigners and when they saw that I had each and every one of the 26 pages notarized, they said, "This isn't necessary", but they approved me the first time and then it took about one month to get my little green FM3 booklet/visa.  Now I was ready to start the job search...

A Word About Dating Mexican Men and Their Mothers...

Mexican men will maintain you financially but in this exchange, you must cook, clean, feed them, do their laundry and wait on them hand and foot like a servant (basically take the place of their mother) and you'd better know how to iron and starch, and cook his favorite meal of his mama - if you decide to go this route, you can hire a muchacha to help clean your house, do laundry and iron for a very reasonable fee, about 150 pesos a day.

When you marry a Mexican you really must be willing to marry his mother also as they will be attached to the hip and when you are with them, you will be the odd one out.  Mexican men are very attached to their mothers and will usually chose them over you.  Mother's Day is the most celebrated holiday in Mexico, if you are a mother, you do not work on that day.  People spend more money on flowers, gifts and restaurants on Mother's Day than any other holiday of the year.  But I do have to give thanks to those mamas, because Mexican men are raised to be very educated, polite and respectful. 

Mexican men can be possessive and jealous, but are also the most passionate, loving, touchy and caring people you will ever date, they will always pull the chair out for you at restaurants, or open doors for you, they will never let you pay for anything, and they will always act as your protector, traditional men will always walk on the outside of the sidewalk so that they are shielding you from any danger from cars, thieves, etc.  When I went on my first date with a Mexican to a restaurant, he went around the table to pull out the chair for me and me being Canadian, thought, Oh, I guess he wants to sit on this side, so I went around and sat down on the other side of the table, he was standing there, stunned, and said, "I was pulling the chair out for you", I explained to him that in my culture, men were pretty redneck and didn't do those sorts of gestures for women.  After that date, I told my Canadian friends, "Once you date a Mexican, you will never go back".

Most Mexicans live on "family money" that has been passed down to them over the generations, so it's very common to hear "family business" or "trust fund baby".

Traditional Mexican men usually have other families apart from their wives, it's sort of an accepted cultural thing.  

If you tell a Mexican man you have a boyfriend, he will still want to date you somehow, but if you tell him that you are married, he will respect that.

Most Mexican men will date a woman at least 10 years younger, don't even think of dating anyone your age!  It is not uncommon to see old, bald men with young trophy wives.

Beware of dating any Mexican over the age of 40, they are most likely married and just looking for a "mamacita".

Mexican men find it a challenge to be reliable and on time.  When a Mexican says they will arrive in one hour, you need to add 1 hour to whatever they say.  This goes for parties too, I learned this on my first invitation to a birthday party, I arrived at 8:00pm on the dot, the host greeted me at the door in her bathrobe and asked me why I showed up so early, then told me that you don't ever show up at the time they tell you, usually it's about one hour after.

Living in Mexico...For Dummies

My journey began in August of 2002, I left my corporate lifestyle, a great career, my beloved family, my home, my beautiful country Canada, packed up my little apartment and moved with the love of my life (and my collection of InStyle magazines, which I thought I couldn't live without) to his hometown, a little town in Central Mexico, where I would call home for the next 9 years.  Nothing here really worked out as I expected, but I've realized, most things don't, but sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff...

Initially I was overwhelmed, but gradually (after about four years!) I realized it's like a wave, resist and you will be knocked over, dive into it and you will swim out the other side!  Mexico was a completely new and different world, the challenge was to cope with it, and not just cope, but thrive.  It wasn't easy for an independent, career-oriented woman to adjust to the idea of being taken care of by a man and staying home to cook and clean.  Old habits died easier than I thought, and new ones formed.  I had to get used to the chaos that started at 7am, the noise, the heat, the language, the extreme cultural differences - Mexico has such an invasion on the senses, those who know the country well just go about their business, they don't complain much, but nothing could prepare MO and I for this chaos and we had some trouble in the beginning...

I have to mention my good friend and confidant, MO, from California, who without her input and hilarious stories, this blog would not have come to fruition.  I owe tribute to MO for coming up with the name for my blog, we originally wanted to write a book called Living in Mexico for Dummies, because as MO said, "You'd have to be a dummy to want to live in Mexico!"  We wished that someone had warned us how hard it was going to be.  MO and I were neighbours, expats living and struggling to survive in a third world country, trying to communicate with our broken Spanish and the many frustrations of dealing with the local doctors, plumbers, landlords, telephone companies, banks, immigration office, maids and fumigators.  We learned how to be frugal in Mexico, how to live on nothing, except love.  Well, I had love, MO had a series of creepy doctors who used to want to come to her house to check her blood pressure...


Survival Skills for Living in Mexico for Dummies


Must be willing to go without water for up to 3 days, as well as live without electricity, phone, and gas periodically.  If you call them and they can't find you, it's because they either are coming mañana or because your street address is "Calle 6 entré Avenida 20 y 25" and they are lost!

Must have extra patience when dealing with immigration offices, government offices like CFE, banks or any telephone company, Telmex or cell phone company.  Must be willing and prepared to bring original and copy of every document you own - birth certificate, passport, FM3 or FM2 immigration document, comprobante de domicilio.  If you have been standing in line for awhile and you finally get to the window/counter at 2:15 pm and they are about to close, they will not have empathy and they will tell you to come back - you guessed it - "mañana" to start the process all over again!  In smaller towns, most businesses close between 2 and 4 for lunch, banks close around 3:30 or 4:30 and government offices can close as early as 2:30 pm, immigration offices close at 1:00 pm.  

Everything is complicated in Mexico, they don't like to make things easy for people and customer service is lacking, except in restaurants, where they are usually very attentive and will be at your beck and call, I think it's because they get a wage of 65 pesos a day and work primarily for tips, other workers don't, they get a very low salary and that's it.  Many companies will have extra staff just to motion you through to the next person, passing you on but not really helping you in any way.  Nextel is a prime example of this, the front receptionist will sit behind a desk that has a sign saying "Customer Service Representative" but they won't actually do anything for you, except tell you that you need to go stand in the next line for a representative to help you with your problem, you go to that line and after waiting for a long time, they will tell you, "We can't do that at this sucursal, you have to call the 1-800 number to arrange that".  I'm not sure why they even employ people at Nextel sucursales, they have never actually been able to help me with anything.  Fabric stores are the same - there will be one salesperson to cut it, one person who folds it and sends it to the packaging area, one cashier to charge you, and then you have to take your paid receipt to the packaging area to pick it up where another person bags it for you.  Banks will have a lot of employees with their windows closed, managers don't jump in to help out when the lines get long.  When you line up at the local OXXO convenience stores there will be 2 or 3 cashiers but only one will be working.  OK my blood pressure just went up writing that.  

We don't pay bills online here or send cheques in the mail, we go and stand in line and pay in cash for electricity bills, cell phone bills, water bills, etc.  You can't send anything of value in the mail, it will get stolen.  Even MO sent me some dollar store dish cloths from USA and only half of them showed up!

Every police whether it be motorcycle or patrol pickup, will have a built-in whistle, and will use it periodically when they see a hot woman walking down the street.  My friends were visiting from Canada in the winter months and as Mexico's winter was still tanning weather to them, they went to the local park to suntan in their bikinis, they got a lot of rounds from the patrol cars with their built-in whistles and all the conservative locals in their sweaters and jackets just stared.  If you are going to smaller towns, the people dress very conservative and short-shorts are not appropriate.  Save your short-shorts for the beach.

Beware when asking for directions as Mexicans tend to think short distances are really far, and they are not accustomed to walk, once I was looking for a store and I asked a man on the street, "Is it close, can I walk there?", to which he replied, "Ooooh noooooo, señora, it's very far, you have to take a taxi", so I get into a taxi and it's only 4 blocks!  

Mexicans are famous for not having "no" in their vocabulary, they will usually say yes to any of your requests, regardless if they can help you or not, and then they will delay with as many "mañanas" as they can until they will just disappear or never call you back again.  You may periodically ask the produce workers in Soriana grocery store for something that isn't out on display, and while they may appear to want to help you, you may never see them again once they go behind those double-swinging doors.

If you go to a nightclub and want to have a table for the night, usually you have to purchase a bottle of tequila or rum and they will come with ice buckets and pop and serve your table drinks all night long, but don't worry, they let you take the bottle home with you if you don't finish it!

Mexicans don't call when they say they will, if you leave them a message, they will not get it, you must be active and keep calling if you want anything done in this country.

Must be willing to go without water pressure and/or hot water in the shower.

Must be willing to live with large flying cockroaches, mosquitoes, earwigs and scorpions year round.

This is actual scorpion found in my kitchen!  Que miedo!

Must like constant noise and be willing to be awakened early in the morning because the chaos starts at 7 am - water trucks, gas trucks blaring their signature song "servicio y calidad", bicycle street vendors with squeaky horns selling water, bread vendors who clap their hands, fruit vendors who call out "NARANJAS!", roosters in the city, frogs concert at night, or construction that can continue until 11 pm.  My neighbors recently acquired two roosters, and these roosters don't just crow once at the crack of dawn, they crow all day long, and I ask myself, "Who the heck has roosters living in the city?!"  Only in Mexico this would happen!

Don't ever go to the police for help, it's no good, they won't do anything and most likely are the bad guys.

It's useless to complain, Mexicans have no concept of Customer Service and won't care about what happened in their store, restaurant, bank, etc.

Mexican banks can hold your money and bank card for reasons like not having an updated FM3 immigration card.  This can be problematic as it takes one month to renew your immigration card.

Always carry a roll of toilet paper and anti-bacterial wipes while travelling in Mexico, many public restrooms, especially at gas stations, will not have toilet paper, nor toilet seat, nor soap and many times no water to flush or wash your hands.

Hair cuts for ladies seem to be a challenge to get good layers cut in your hair, but the right color or highlights seem to be easy for them to achieve here.  Get your haircuts done at home.

Moctezuma's Revenge (Traveller's Diarrhea) - how it got this name is because Moctezuma was an Aztec ruler who was killed in 1520 during the Spanish conquest of Mexico, so legend has it that for his revenge, any foreigner who travels to Mexico will get this awful diarrhea - this is an inevitable experience you must go through when you are in Mexico - avoid eating salads or any food sold from street vendors on carts, as soon as you land in Mexico, start eating yogurt right away, this will help get your digestive system used to the bacteria in Mexico.  I have had every sickness - Typhoid Fever, Salmonella and a lot of stomach infections, now I'm just waiting for the Dengue to hit me.  It is really true what they say, don't drink the water, drink the margaritas!

Bring books - it's hard to find books in English and there are no libraries here.  If you live in a city that has Sanborns, you can find some English books and magazines there, otherwise you will be out of luck.

There will be people that chase you down at Walmart, Mega or Soriana in the parking lot to help you with your groceries.  These people will literally take over your cart and start wiping down your windows or offer to wash your car while you shop.  Also, the people who bag your groceries are not employed by the grocery stores, so you can give them a tip if you wish.

Bring lots of your favorite toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, makeup from home.  What's in Mexico is crap and worse the water you have to wash with!! 

You can go into Mexicans' homes with your shoes on, they actually prefer it as most homes have tile flooring and they don't take their shoes off in the house.

"Te invito" - don't confuse this with "I'm inviting you out", in Mexico if you say this, it means the other person understands that you will pay everything for them.

"Ahorita regreso, ahorita te lo doy" - this translates into English as "I'll be back right away, I'll give this to you now" but in Spanish this can mean a broad space of time - can mean within one day but can extend to tomorrow or the next day.

Never trust the utility people that come around reading CFE meters.  One month it's cheap, the next month it's 800 pesos!  It's useless to fight this, I went on vacation for a month and came back to the highest bill ever, I wasted 2 hours of waiting in line to complain and to prove that I wasn't even there in the house, all they said was that it was maybe a "fuga" in my electricity meter, but that I would have to pay or they would cut it off.  There is a lot of corruption with this company where people can fix the meter so that someone else pays for their electricity.  I've since learned, just pay it, and save your frustration and time.  

Pedestrians don't have the right of way in Mexico - cars will speed up and run you down, even though we have a lot of speed bumps on every block!

Don't panic when you get in a taxi and there are no seatbelts, this is the norm in Mexico, some even have them cut out. 

There is a lot of corruption, but sometimes you can use it to your advantage, like when your new car doesn't pass verification (like AirCare), they hooked up my car to the exhaust pipe of an old rusted Bronco truck to get it to pass!

Everywhere you go, people will most likely try to rip you off as a foreigner, it's just the culture of Mexico, "El que no transa, no avanza".  Tell everyone when you're in Mexico that you are poor - "soy pobre" should be your two favorite words, yes always let them know you are a POOR person, they expect every foreigner to be rich and you will get ripped off every chance they get with you!!   If you get a car, buy a beat up old acid washed truck like my friend MO did, that makes you look like a poor rancher so that you blend in, that way no one will want to stop you and want to do a begging thing or act like a clown and do a juggle act for money at the stoplights!!!

Never dress up like the rich Mexicans do!!  Don't call attention to your status - leave your stilletos and fancy jewlery at home.

Never buy meat that looks like a porter house steak, I dont care how much you beat it up it will taste like the cow was eating paper bags!

Don't think that your recipes will turn out the same in Mexico - the flour is different and the altitude affects your recipes.  Also, the dials on the ovens here are just 1-2-3-4 so there is no way to tell what the temp. is!

Get used to seeing a lot of stray dogs around town, most of them are harmless.

Recycling programs don't exist here yet - they say that the garbage trucks separate the recycling from the garbage but I haven't seen it yet.

Stop getting stressed and frustrated living here, you were the "dummy" who decided to live here in the first place!!

Perks of Living in Mexico for Dummies


The weather - 365 days of sun!

You can live relatively cheap here and have a great lifestyle working part-time, have a maid, have a better quality of life, take more siestas.

You will be surrounded by the happiest, most joyful and hospitable people you will ever know in your life.

It's a very social, spontaneous place, you can do the "pop-in" without your friends having to "pencil you in", people live to play, not live to work, they enjoy life!

Life is just more simple, people look you in the eye and say "Buenos dias, how's your day?"  They are not consumed by the latest gadget or Iphone, or tuned out on their headphones, they are present and take time to really acknowledge your presence and smile and say hello, I love the warmth and friendliness of the people.

It's not materialistic, most people don't spend their whole weekends at the shopping malls or in front of the TV, the great weather ensures that you will always want to be outside.

The food is pretty fabulous, especially the chicken, it's very tender and flavorful here, ceviche, tacos, tamales, chile rellenos, mole, hand-made tortillas made from blue corn, and all the exotic fruit that we don't get at home - tuna (cactus pear), dragon fruit, jicama, strawberry-papaya.  When I first moved here the hottest thing I could eat was pepperoni, now I love all kinds of chile and salsas.

You can go to the pharmacy and purchase a lot of drugs that you would normally need a prescription for at home - Retin A cream and Benzoyl Peroxide is very cheap, 1/4 of the price of what you pay at home, sometimes you can just tell them your symptoms and they will give you a remedy.  Until 2009, you didn't need a prescription for antibiotics, now you do, but I know a friend who just took the name of the antibiotic written on a sticky-note and held her belly and they gave it to her!

Buses and colectivos (small white vans that go between towns) will stop and pick you up and drop you off wherever you wish, official bus stops don't really exist here.  You just need to yell "baja" when you want to get off.  It only costs me 30 pesos to get to work and back per day, in Canada I would pay triple that for a bus fare.

Taxis are available on every corner and pass by every 2 minutes, usually they are reasonable, but make sure to negotiate the price before getting in, I've been kicked out of a few taxis halfway home for not agreeing to their crazy high fare, I must have looked like I was a tourist (LOL).  You may want to close your eyes though, as many drive very crazy.  But to be honest, I have rarely seen them crash.

Bus transportation between cities is cheap, efficient and more comfortable than an airplane, if you choose ETN, ADO or Primera Plus, you can expect a good service, A/C, movies, on time and wide reclining seats - it's like First Class, as some even have wi-fi nowadays - they will even give you a small bagged lunch with a sandwich, water and a cookie.  Some have direct service from the airports to the town you are going to, but if you decide to go on a budget with a cheaper busline or between small towns, these buses can be more challenging without A/C, and there may be chickens, musicians and other crazy things in the back of the bus.  One time I was travelling with a friend between my town and another small town and the bus had standing room only, there was an 18 litre "garrafon" of water on one of the seats behind the driver, so my friend moved it to the floor and sat down, the driver got so upset and kept giving us dirty looks all the way there, but my friend said, "I'll be damned if I'm going to stand for 1 hour while that bottle of water gets to ride comfortably!"

You can park anywhere and don't have to worry about your car getting towed or ticketed, tickets don't exist in Mexico, on a rare occasion they may take your license plate but it's a small fee to pick it up, only the corrupt police will ask for a few pesos to let you go, I heard recently that some police even say, "Can I give you my paypal account?"!!

VIP movie theatres - these are in the bigger cities but have amazing service like reclining lazy boy chairs, martinis - you have your own waiter that brings you whatever you wish.

Beauty treatments are very cheap - manicures, pedicures, massages, hair colour, waxing - you will pay 1/4 of the price you pay back home.

Only one wardrobe: You never have to wear socks or shoes again, flip flops are worn year round here.

You can be late for everything and no one notices.